A Personal Story of Fulfilment Found in Failure
Image Credit: Back View Of Woman In Pink Dress Sitting On Grass Field Reading A Book by Scopio from NounProject.com
On fantastic choices
Read on for…
- How messes turn into successes
- Musings on destiny and choice
- Wise words on power
- Dessert recommendations
{Every other Friday, my newsletter subscribers receive a personal love letter from yours truly, affectionately titled the Friday Mythical Mera Missive. Sometime later, some of the time, (some of) it goes live here—for love is best shared, and yet some love letters are writ to stay secret…}
Darling,
Time to talk about destiny! 👀
In a recent missive I mentioned how a mess can be a beautiful thing. Funny thing is, often it’s easier to see that in retrospect, when taking a look at life through the rearview mirror, than in the moment it happens. In the moment it happens, it can feel like failure. Until sometime down the line in the future, with some perspective, it reveals itself as divine grace.
(Or like I just read Alana Fairchild put it: The essential mess before a truly spectacular success. Got a good ring, no?)
As you may have gathered, darling, I’m a bit of a dream dancer. Which may make me a tad naive and overly optimistic at times… and has also served me in good stead in those moments of mess, by giving me a foundational trust in the divine flow and things unfolding for good.
— In a typo, I just misspelled that as ‘unfolding for god’. And I thought, huh, that’s true, too, isn’t? Since we are all the One that is Goddess-God, the human expression of the Divine… but I digress.
So. Apparent messes.
Like that time I didn’t pass the end-of-year exam at the super elite professional ballet boarding school I was attending, largely since, no matter how perfectly strong and trained, my feet’s arches weren’t curved enough (a skeletally determined shape not much short of bone torture will change). Thus it was good-bye to me. Which seemed like a horrendous, gutting turn of events.
Or many years later, when I was laid off from a job I adored and had been thriving in, totally out of the blue, and to the deep distress of everyone involved, including those letting me go (the company was making its way through a financial valley). That too, seemed like a horrendous, gutting turn of events—although I’d picked up on the whole rearview secret enough by then that I laughed as much as I cried, clapping my hands in confused celebration of this epic celestial eclipse-season chaos.
And what did the rearview reveal both times?
That first mess low-key saved my aliveness, if we want to be dramatic (and you know we want to). It got me off the pathway that was only leading me deeper into anorexia, and into stiffness that was snuffing out the spark of life and creative charisma in me. It dropped the rope down into that internal pit reigned by the pressure of outmost perfection—and pray tell, what is there in nature that flourishes in perfection?
That second mess put me on the pathway to publishing Bond and Song. Suddenly, there was no excuse of a job to keep procrastinating on finishing the manuscript. There was instead severance pay—which felt like I was now paid to spend my time writing. Imagine that! Are these clouds I’m sitting on?
Both occurrences of mess also sent me off in new directions laden with gifts. Once a dancer, the dance never leaves you… and oh, look at that. The energy-weaving witches of the Sung dance in the Song. Yep, one might say the heart and essence of dance is rather central to Bond and Song.
And the company that laid me off? Also sent me on my merry way with pockets full of potent personal experiences in the wondrous world of sacred sexuality—that fed the muse. Plus, you know, the discipline and encouragement of facing an empty page month after month, since creative writing, unexpectedly, had become a big part of my job—as well as the celebration I received in response to it.
So looking back, would I have wanted either event (or 367 others in my life) to have unfolded any differently? I think you know…
Was it all destiny, then? Meant to happen just so? (Is everything that unfolds in your life destiny?)
And if it was, then whatever is happening in our life now, does our choice lie in how we meet it?
Just some casual food for thought for you, darling. You know, as a lunch snack for tomorrow.
And to round it out nicely, for a palatable dessert of the destiny & choice variety, may I recommend a serving of Bond and Song? 😁
After all…
Her Dance is his Life. The Dark is her Destiny. The Deep demands a Choice.
May you sing your soul’s song and may your heart bloom in love,
Your Word Weaver,
Mera Akiana
P.S.: Turns out, in said job, one year ago, I wrote some wise (and non-PG, be forewarned) words on the power of choice. What do you choose today?
“[…] Just like you can choose to rebirth yourself at any time, in any moment?
What is power, if not that?
In many ways, power is choice. Small choices, big choices, choosing to speak a truth, choosing to go for a desire.
Choosing to take pleasure for yourself. Choosing to have s*x the way you want to.
Choosing to marvel at this mad wonder and wild ride that is your p*ssy, your pleasure, your life.
And even when that very life is quaking around you, you have a choice...
It might be shouting at the heavens, ‘what the holy fuc*kery is this?!’
And when you’ve raged and shook and trembled, it may be a choice to return to pleasure, to reverence… to love.
That is choosing your life. That is power.”
P.P.S.: Ahem… purchasing a copy of Bond and Song today, and maybe one as a gift for your cousin who loves fantasy romance, too, is a fantastic choice, if I do say so myself. 😉
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